Avoid This Text Message At All Costs

I want to talk about a seemingly innocent text message that a guy might send that can often cause women to slip up.

I’m going to give you a good answer for when it crops up, and a bad answer so you know what to avoid at all costs.

Let me paint the picture for you… It’s mid-week, there’s a guy you kind of like, and he sends you a message that says, “Are you around this weekend?”

I know the thought process that you go through here…

Firstly there’s an element of excitement – the guy you kind of like just sent you a message, and he’s asking if you’re available!

However, as well as the excitement, there’s a part of you that finds this message really annoying!

Why? Because this message is noncommittal on his part. It’s his way of saying, ‘I haven’t decided if I’m going to do something with you yet this weekend, but I want to assess the situation.’

In this moment he’s putting the onus on you to figure things out.

Firstly here’s what to avoid. This is a seemingly innocent response, but one that comes from an insecure place that would kill a guy’s attraction for you…

“Yeah definitely, what are you up to?”

This reply, “yeah definitely”, shows that you really want to see him, and that you’re willing to make your time free for him. Saying “what are you up to?” is showing a desire to further the conversation, but not really taking it anywhere.

It seems innocent enough I know, but both of these elements come from an insecure place.

Instead I want to offer a suggestion that will allow you to remain in power, and come across as someone who is in control of the situation (as well as putting the ball back in his court to lead)…

“Could be, what are you thinking?”

“Could be” is the part that of this message gives some hope – and that’s important. It’s the part that shows him that he can earn your approval where you might make yourself available.

This is going to sound tenuous and small, but even adding in ‘I’ to begin the sentence detracts from the casual feel given to it.

Remember, you want the onus to be on him. It’s up to him to do the work and you’re just responding.

“What are you thinking?” puts him on the back foot to come up with something, and has far greater impact than ‘what are you up to?’.

In saying this, he now has to come up with a good idea.

He has to come up with something that you could do together, he has to lead, make decisions, and prove himself as a man in this moment.

This is exactly where you want him to be, and this is exactly what a high-value woman would do to a guy. Expect him to step up and be a man, and don’t do the work for him.

This isn’t playing hard to get, but allowing him to play his role.

Resist the temptation to get too excited, and stay in your own power.

In month two of my online training programme I have an entire module dedicated to Phone, Texting & Dating. If you’ve ever received mixed signals from a guy, been unsure of what to text back, or whether or not to call, this module is essential viewing.

In it I reveal more principles for remaining high value between meetings or dates with a guy, and the common mistakes women make that kill attraction.